A great start, i think we need to strengthen each scene to show how the baby influences the crew, it could just be little things in each one. A drunk baby – the baby is weak in this scene, where it needs to be strong and get one up on the boss. Maybe – the boss gets drunk because the baby puts an additional shot in his glass. Crew member walks in and mafia boss is drunk, baby all innocent drinking milk looking cute. The hole in the foot – ensure baby’s facial expressions show he did it on purpose, crew ‘errupt in to nervous laughter’ this is setting the scene for the babys power. Drug deal – baby needs to influence something in the deal. Thief – boss needs to be circling this crew carrying the baby as the baby steals the stuff – then the crew will begin to doubt there boss – ultimately this is what we are aiming for, the baby causing the crew to doubt the boss. The Heist – baby appears to scribbling on the board while the boss is talking but when the boss returns the scribbles were actually directions. This will put something in each scene that would cause the crew to doubt there boss, and make the ending make more sense and be readable
A great start, i think we need to strengthen each scene to show how the baby influences the crew, it could just be little things in each one.
ReplyDeleteA drunk baby – the baby is weak in this scene, where it needs to be strong and get one up on the boss. Maybe – the boss gets drunk because the baby puts an additional shot in his glass. Crew member walks in and mafia boss is drunk, baby all innocent drinking milk looking cute.
The hole in the foot – ensure baby’s facial expressions show he did it on purpose, crew ‘errupt in to nervous laughter’ this is setting the scene for the babys power.
Drug deal – baby needs to influence something in the deal.
Thief – boss needs to be circling this crew carrying the baby as the baby steals the stuff – then the crew will begin to doubt there boss – ultimately this is what we are aiming for, the baby causing the crew to doubt the boss.
The Heist – baby appears to scribbling on the board while the boss is talking but when the boss returns the scribbles were actually directions.
This will put something in each scene that would cause the crew to doubt there boss, and make the ending make more sense and be readable